Why I Didn’t Drink for 10 Years: Alcohol, Control, and CPTSD Recovery

In this trauma-informed blog, Anna shares how CPTSD shaped her relationship with alcohol, why she avoided drinking for over a decade, and what true healing looks like.

I didn’t drink for ten years — not because I was “good,” or because I’d hit rock bottom. I didn’t drink because I was terrified.

Terrified of becoming like my mum. Terrified of what I might say. Terrified of what might leak out if the mask slipped. If you’ve grown up around addiction, chaos, or emotional volatility, you’ll know the kind of fear I mean.

In this episode of the Her Shift podcast, I open up about the complex emotional roots behind alcohol avoidance. For a long time, I blamed alcohol for people’s behaviour — when in truth, it was never the drink. It was the unhealed trauma underneath.

Alcohol doesn’t reveal your soul. It reveals the parts of you that haven’t been held yet.

I also talk about what true healing looks like — and spoiler alert, it’s not in the highs. I don’t manifest holidays and flashy cars. I manifest the healed mundane: peaceful mornings, not flinching when someone is late, and folding laundry without spiralling.

If you’re sober-curious, in recovery, or just navigating a trauma-informed life — this one’s for you.